thanks. ;)

I tend to resent contentment when I notice it, or at least I'll overanalyze it and then tend towards resentment.

The thing is, I *want* to be doing "something". I want to be active and not pining away for this phone call. I read a book yesterday. That felt good. Wasn't productive, but it kept the fear away. I started reading another book, but... time just zipzapzorches like that. I don't want time to just disappear. I don't want soma.

eh.

hmm. exercise could be good. I've got that kickboxing tape that should take me an hour... and then an hour shower afterwards. I could only do 20 minutes of it last night. ennui and lack of sticking to it. I need to get it back onto my regular "schedule" (as much as I have a schedule). A bike ride would be nice... found a bike at a garage-giveaway, but it needs... air at least, probably new innertubes. hopefully not new tires. I don't know how much that will cost but I don't feel like I can spare the money. :/ cleaning the house... is good to do when Amy's not home. I hate being watched when I do it. And it's actually relatively clean (or at least, it hasn't gotten much messier than what I last cleaned it *to*.) drawing would be good. programming is my "main" hobby and I have so ... so ... so many projects that need to be gotten to a stopping point. :/ I need to give myself a day for drawing the way I have a day for writing. (though I didn't get to write this week. :grumbles: monday was spent sitting in a car for six hours and ... stuff.)

bleah.

I should try to exercise. thanks. :)

suck. :/ there's a long time between three weeks ago and June.

I haven't forgotten the project we were discussing (growing 3d boxworld nethack thing-like-thing); well, I had for a while. :/ But it's in my notes, once I find them.

[I like the flowers!]

do tell... :)

Hmmmmmmmm.

definitely object-oriented is the way to go, methinks. even if that means c++. maybe time to look into objective-c.

hmm. but still not obvious. should be fun.

should be.

#*$&^#*$ "spare time".

or more like #*&$^*&#$^*#&$ projects that won't leave me alone. yeah, that. I wanna write a game. ;)

hmm. by that, I suppose I've succeeded somewhat when reading a book... but then I come away from the book and freeze again. I can do simple tasks (sleep, eat, read) but I don't seem to be able to do anything else. Though I did just manage 40 minutes of exercise. hopfully that will help and after a shower I'll be more "human" again.

thanks. :)

I can't tell if this is a periodic thing, or more environment-driven, but DAMN it's annoying. :/