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mind stutters

doing a bit better. house is cleaner, mind is cleaner, emotions clearer.

I'm working on a nifty datastructure as a generic thing to wrap threaded discussions and whatnot around. it's a tree! right. no biggie. it's one of them fancy non-linked-list subset type tree. and I'm really having trouble wrapping my head around the sql. it's cool. it will be cool. but right now I'm REALLY having trouble wrapping my head aroudn the sql.

I've been trying to get to the point of being able to write it for a few weeks now, thinking about it now and then, jotting down notes. Now I'm practically in implementation phase and I still don't know what i"m doing. But I have to do it or I won't make any further progress with it. And hopefully in doing it, the pieces will fall together... or at least just fall into the spotlight so I can see what the hell I'm working with all at once.

It's like that. The picture's there on the cover of the box, but none of the details... and then the puzzle pieces are the oddest shapes and I can only look at one or two at a time... and not even the whole pieces, just ... parts of them... one edge or another.

and all of a sudden I'll get a flash of everything and feel my mind knot and twist and :plink: it's all gone but for some slight desperation. and I'm staring at the screen again, hoping that next time it won't :plink: away.

what's worse is that this almost that I'm working on is in no way at the top of my ... priorities were I being responsible about them. But. I think it will make me feel much better to accomplish. I hope. I really need a sense of accomplishment soonish.

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February 2016


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