quasi random (kaolinfire) wrote,
quasi random

pausing to reflect? (WARNING: potential spoilers on _A Beautiful Mind_)

I just saw _A Beautiful Mind_ -- that was a truly sad movie, even with the sorta happy ending. Very applicable to my life, as well (in my opinion). Other than the severe schizophrenia thing, I related rather strongly with the main character. And I didn't like where he wound up in life (of course, it was the schizophrenia that mostly fucked him over).

One funny thing -- when he was first introduced to his roommate at the beginning of the movie, I thought of Kender. Apparently, Amy was thinking of Kender by the end of the movie -- "You never have introduced me to your friend... does he really exist?" Hmm. Maybe you had to be there.

But... yeah... all he wanted out of life was his mathematics. He had one seminal paper in the prime of his life, moved on to other things, and never made progress with anything else. He viewed life as problems... mathematical problems. I've kinda on that wavelength only with more people skills and less studied knowledge. At any given moment, I tend to be happiest when I've just got the endorphin rush of solving a problem (typically computer-related, but sometimes math as well). My life goal? well, it's... solving a problem, too, really. and that's all. I find the material interesting and I'm trying to devote myself towards it (though having troubles getting off my ass because I' frightened of letting go of my comfortable lifestyle). And I abhor that fright. But not enough, yet.

I haven't even taken my fraggin' GRE yet. Soon. I need to go back to school so badly...

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