quasi random (kaolinfire) wrote,
quasi random

the coloring of moods

yellow. yellow is a color I really don't like, generally, but in the exception it's one of my favorites. la. unimportant, but it's the color of my mood at the moment. it's that sort of happiness. but really, that's not the subject of this... journal entry?

What creates a mood? To some extent that's something we always search for and never (fully) find. Never understand. But in a given mood, we examine our surroundings, our surroundings examine us and imprint themselves along with our mood. These surroundings are social, temporal, physical, environmental, musical, al al al al al. What makes me happy?

Last night I went to the beach with some good folks. We did legal drugs and talked and made a big fire. A cop asked us if we were allright, and when we said yes, he left us alone (that was a magical moment, but in retrospect -- you kinda had to be there. the context could make a story but I don't know if anyone would consider it interesting). Today I woke up and played frisbee, learned to throw a boomerang, picked up nails out of the fire we had last night, discovered the fire was still burning and helped (minorly) rebuild it out of the pieces that had previously escaped to the sides, walked off by myself and looked at little insects and crustaceans of various sorts. It's a warm (hot?) summer day in the bay. [pictures: here] I had a good taco for breakfast, and chai as well, bought a rap-ish album that I actually appreciate after hearing (I don't tend to like rap...) [didn't realize it would be rap when I bought it... la la la] I've had good thoughts (or so I think) lately, come up with lots of projects to work on, haven't worked on them that much but that's okay. I've been sick, still am sick, but I might be getting better -- plegm in the chest and all that sort of goodness. 've been spending a lot of time thinking about this that and the other. Talked with a friend that I've not sat down and talked with about anything interesting in a while -- we haven't really talked in a while. Life has gotten complicated. Life has been complicated. Good or bad or indifferent. I am happy. All these things imprint and become imprinted with happiness. What is the cause?

The mind and the chemicals make the mind and the mind makes the chemicals and the world goes round and round and the mind takes the mystical words scale, contect, perspective ... allegory, metaphor ... and happiness is. Who the fuck knows.

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