quasi random (kaolinfire) wrote,
quasi random

a torrent...

I haven't felt purposeful lately. I feel... unproductive, worthless, unnoticed (except when I'm with Amy). My time not with her has been, at best, listless. [not entirely true, I've done some stuff, had some good times, but that's what it feels like] I haven't been in the cout, let alone on the ball. Maybe it's just that I'm once again overwhelmed.

I loaned a friend $500 that looks like it didn't help any.

DSL being mostly down at home is making it much harder to stay on top of life and friends.

Still need to deal with my teeth, smog and sell my car, repair my bike (go to the hardware store to get stuff for it). [There's a fight trying to start near me on BART. People have no respect whatsoever for eachother and are determined to show that. Bleah. Hmm. Screaming is dying down at least. What else?]

I fixed Amy's sink + toilet a week or so ago. I don't think I screwed the sink bits on well enough, though. Doesn't have the annoying drip but it seems to leak around the base when you use it. Need to remember to bring my crescent wrench. And a roll of paper towels because she needs those and keeps forgetting to buy them.

Cats have been more antsy than usual. Not sure what's up with that.

House is still a mess though MUCH better than it's been.

Going to see aplay with Amy tonight. [Twelfth Night] Must remember my glasses. Hope its good. I'm sure I'll be in a better mood after that.

I haven't been reading or exercising the way I told myself I would. The DVD workout thing has me looking for a television on ebay. I told Kender I'd look up computer info for him. I *hate* flaking. Televisions are much more expensive than I thought. A 27" seems reasonable in size but runs about $600 for a decent brand. That's a bit of buckage.

I'm worried I'm not taking out enough for taxes. Suck. Quicken thinkgs I'm taking out too much. La la la. That might be the money I'm sending my parents in allowance which I really don't expect them to mark on taxes.

I've sketched down more story ideas. Haven't done anything with them. No progress on any of my other projects lately, either, other than a smidgen of art. Supposedly the color printer at work is broken. Need to figure that out. Poems have been happening as ever for 100poems but... nothing good lately. DSL down really doesn't help that. Also wish more people COMMENTED on stuff. Poemranker seems to be hitting doldrums, despite the google ad. Don't know what to do with it. COnflicting visions and all that. Maybe I should just leave the random poem bit for nonmembers and flesh it out into a real community site for poems.

Just wrote a poem ("looking back", try 1 #65) for 100poems. What happens to the entries in a shared journal when its killed? If they're memories? ... I feel a little better for having written the poem. It is creating at least a bit. I'm jonesing to write an online comic. I need to learn to draw better. I want to. I should take a figure drawing course. And hook up my graphics tablet. I need a new motherboard for my windows box. It's been acting crazier -- shutting itself off for no reason. I hope a new MB would fix that. Don't *quite* want to deal with it, though. Need to find my todo list and update it.

I'm thinking about adding "doodle" art to my webpage. There's stuff I think is cool. The worry is maybe there's too much of it for the current manner of presentation. Or something. Duno. My doodles are almost like another journal of my life (the last seven years' worth) pictorially. Ish.

Glad I left work early -- need to be home by 5:30 for the play and the BART train has been stalled out on the tracks for maybe 5-10 minutse now. They're normally perfectly on time but today and yesterday... dunno.

Fishing to see if there are thoughts I've had in the last little bit, while writing and just before, that I'd like to remember. None come to mind. No answers to my "problems". Be more alert. Exercise. Learn stuff. Enjoy, DAMMIT! I wish my DSL was up again. Can't find my todo list, presume it's at home. Unhappy about fractroam -- I really need to devote some time to fixing the backend and reorganizing the webpag for it. AND I want to do fractalranker soon. Actually dat down to sketch out my ideas for that, I think, and wound up writing this instead. I guess I really haven't written much in myjournal lately. Which isn't bad. And likely won't change. But it's nice to get all this down. Hopefully, it will help.

Went over some of my journal entries from when I started. It's interesting what I *don't* write. I've not made any private entries (they're not my sort of thing), but then everything I write here is mildly censored. I suppose that happens. La.

I need to rewrite imaginaries. I need to rewrite my own site. I need to do something with skwerms. And riddlery. I need to move imaginaries to joker (well, I'd like to) from network solutions. (caffeine makes me happy when I'm borderline. I'm borderline. I don't have any cafeeine right now...)

I was talking with Kevin about not doing anything. He started it, ish, but yeah. So I was wondering what he did when he hung out with people... we were walking and talking, heading back to work from lunch. I went into my closet (at work) and had an idea for a website to gather info like that and put it together and all that. Decided I didn't want to write it, went out, gave the idea to Kevin. He's working on it. Will see if he goes through with it all the way. Would be cool. Though my ego wants credit for the idea. La la la.

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