November 25th, 2008

2016, fenris + phoenix

Dearest Nigerian Prince

Dearest Nigerian Prince;

I'm sorry to hear things have gone badly for you. It seems to be going around (perhaps you've heard of the US Economic crisis). In fact, I've apparently become somewhat of a celebrity in the trust world--I've been contacted by confidantes in a handful of countries with similar tales, from Ukraine to Iran. I've even been informed of a personage of no low note being held prisoner in Spain, who could reward me handsomely if I sent some bribe monies for the guards.

I am soon to come into some "black money", and would be more than happy to forward some to you. Perhaps you have a solution to clean it? I would be happy to split the proceeds with you, as the folks I am currently dealing with are acting quite absurd.

As well, I have been vouchsafed information regarding some artifacts that went "missing" during the last Iraq war. There are some minor fees involved in the shipping thereof, but I think that might be your best bet for moving your money.

I have also recently received a spate of lotto winnings! As always, it takes money to make money--so your funds could do much to grease the international wheels there. As above, I am more than open to a scratching of backs.

Yours in luck,

A Magazine Publisher