April 2nd, 2003

2016, fenris + phoenix

I am frozen.

I exist, I'm sure of that, but... but I have nothing to show for it. I am failing. Actions are not happening. Nothing is happening. Man, this sounds drugged. :heh:

Seriously, though (folks?). It's been two or three days now of frozen (anticipation?). I think I'm waiting for the job/interview call which I was told to expect this week (but really could happen anytime in the next four based upon past experience). In the meantime? There are things I should be working on. There are things I *could* be working on. And I'm sitting here... frozen.

This should be a poem, but I'm just... not... there. Or anywhere.

I need to move on.

How???
2016, fenris + phoenix

what today?

did it, was it? where???

I. stuff. did. but nothing it was.

nothing, nothing, float away...

I just renewed a couple of domains. Fun. One of them I've had since 7/22/2001, and I *still* haven't started working on it. isn't that sad? Actually, another I've had since 4/16/2000! And I tried using it once, abandoned the attempt, but liked the name... at the moment one person has an email address on it, and that is the extent of that.

I spent some time fiddling with ant and attempting to modularize some code I use over and over again, giving it some versioning and stuff like that. I feel a strong air of futility, but... maybe. This *is* code I have reused and reused, made slight modifications to, and then reused some more. It's modified enough that I can't just dump it back into my old projects as is, but... theoretically, it shouldn't be THAT much work to do so. And ... maybe it would make me feel good. I can't say.

What else? That was today. I read journal entries, replied, replied to replies, moaned and bitched, had some food, woke up (no, this isn't in order), exercised (yay me? starting again...), whatwhatWHAT? played boggle with amy for a very short bit... tried to help a friend with some web/photoshop business but got really frustrated with that. tried to help someone else with mac/web/sftp business; dunno how that went.

oh yeah. spent a really frustrating amount of time fucking with gradebook.alethe.net. Working on stuff that didn't need to be done, but was easier to do than what does need to be done. and it was fucking ANNOYING! really... really on edge, on the fence, on something... regarding struts, tiles, and all that jazz. [Chicago is one hell of a beautiful movie. and all that jazz has incorporated it into my hashtable of idioms for the moment, replacing, I think, yadda. yadda yadda yadda.]

right. and that was my entire day. lovely.