it's that time again. morning. morning. yeah. I dreamed last night. While it included actual family, it seemed it could be a good story. And on waking, I swore I'd had the dream before. I was a novice sorcerer not into my powers being attacked by a neighbor or something. Lost the thread... perhaps I'll have it again. Damn people.
People. Talking. You can't really get away from them, especially when you sneak into a main tent.
But they start out quieter and then congregate and talk more and more. bleah.
I'm in a better mood and more ready to leave at the same time. I wonder how much one has to do with the other. La. Hmm. Time to donate some more water, I think.
Next year, if there is ... a tent big enough for friends but *mine* to hide in as necessary. The dome Dave set up sounds perfect. Amy ... yeah. The playa has bonded with the tip of my pen. La la la.
I haven't moved but I remembered some thoughts from last night. Oh. Last night --
I wandered down to 2 oclock and then out around the furthest art installations. It's amazing how little interest I have in everything at this point. But thoughts --
Amy -- I wonder if I'm taking this monogamy too seriously, or ... geh. I'm afraid to break boundaries, but it's fuzzy. La. We sortof set boundaries on the physical side and they're there on the emotional side, but what about the intellectual? More specifically, I turned down two things; getting playa-married to something (like the burning man) ... and "speed dating". Both two simple silly harmless things, but ... it didn't seem right to do them without her. I'll have to discuss it with her and see what she thinks. Or not -- it's not a big deal and it does seem more me tan her. If I'm uncomfortable with it for her sake, I shouldn't do it. That seems simple.
I don't know if I miss her specifically so much or just anyone to befriend in a less than utterly casual manner, one on one. Talked to sheepboy Dave a bit about relationships a couple nights ago. He greatly agreed with the one-to-one aspect of social company being the best kind.
He's in an open relationship and it's being tested for kinda the first time, and that's greatly sucking for him. With Brian, nonetheless. Bleah. While I like polyamory (I think), for a lot of people I've run into it seems it's just a fear of commitment. That frustrates the hell out of e. Even when it's not my problem anymore. I mean, what the fuck?
got naked, walked down to bianca's (10 oclock), then down to about 4 oclock, then back to 10oclock (I was kinda looking for friends).
It was fun walking about naked. I got some compliments on my ass and noticed some cemales checking out my groin before my face (if they bothered to look up at all ... :heh:) It's nice to be a semirespectable piece of meat.
That's about all I did for the last few hours. Now I'm bored again, wishing the burn was over so I could pack up and disappear. Maybe I could take a nap now, or ... eh. bleh. la la la. Just not in the *^$*& mood. :)
It was liberating to be naked. :)
A little hungr, a little dehydrated. Bleah. Nose is sore, throat a little raw. Maybe it's time for qtips for my ears -- they're a little fucked right now. Got sprayed in one of them with water by some little kid. That sucked. My ears don't like water. I really need a shower. I don't need good food so much. I don't need to spend money. I ... yeah. I'd leave now except I'd feel like I'd given up, and it's not that. The environment doesn't bother me, except for the people now and then.
I've accomplished everything I hoped to at the beginning of the week, I think.