August 31st, 2001

2016, fenris + phoenix

(no subject)

last night I got myself injured threefold. oops. wasn't in a very good mood, though that may have started with the first injury. I span someone and he experimented with my spin, which I didn't manage to compensate for. I did manage to land him down on top of me without too much troubl, and I came up with my knee wound and one of my foot wounds reopened.

First person I ever dropped. Dammit. His name was Oaks and he was a cool glowstick spinner -- apparently also a firedancer type folk, which is extra cool -- same art, but generally different camps, so far as I've seen.

Sweetpea, Dave, Dave, Andrea, Anna, Christine?, Oaks, Kim and I went frolicking back to their dome (well, not Oaks' or Kim's). We had massaging and vodka and I cut my foot open on rebar. That made me unhappier and I started feeling like an asshole -- lonely, depressed, ignored, needy. So instead of biting my pain down or spreading it around, I limped back to my car and passed out. Woke up, limped into the main tent and had my foot looked at by Shane. (lj username?)

BIG group talk on polyamory that makes me feel a little defensive of my current relationship. Then it rotates around and around to other topics. It's making me really lonely. How do I cut it out? Another story? I don't really want to go outside because there are so many people out there, almost as dense as in here, and at least I sorta know the ones in here.

I hate feeling fat (sorry, unrelated, just looked at my paunch while I was writing, and I'm kinda hungry. My chest is starting to hurt. Hmm. Yeh.) Any other favorite fairy tales to play with? I just want to lie down with Amy and cuddle with her and read her my story and ... I don't know, talk about whatever or nothing. Check email. On one hand, it's already friday and I've done nothing. On the other hand, I'm already ready to leave other than the burn. If things don't change, I may well leave Sunday and surprise Amy. Maybe spend some time look for a birthday present for her or something.

I should go out naked today, just to do it. It's nice out. So... first bathroom and or food time. I'm in a state of confusion, I've lost track of my existence. And, removing the fear factor, I'm glad. I'm going to pull it back together a little and see about ... going out ... I don't think insomnia ever says he's sorry.
2016, fenris + phoenix

(no subject)

Today has been a more proper burning man day. Not exactly in a better mood right now (though I was for a while0 but I'm at least more into it.

It started with a trek to find my scarf (I think I left it at Bianca's) ... I haven't recovered the scarf yet, but the trek was full of adventure. I encountered a trapped princess who I freed and took the place of.

The artist called it a personality magnifier. I sat in the corner and read. When I inished reading what there was, I started asking passers by for more reading material. Eventually I worked my way up to asking to get out -- I was bored. Shortly after I started trying, someone let me out in exchange for me flogging him.

From there, I wandered further and got sucked in by a book on fractals at the transhumanist camp. Turns out the mandelbrot set was derived from the julia set. Sily me. Then there was a good talk where I plugged the lj transhumanist community a couple of times. By the end of that it was time to hit alien love nest for the talent showish thingamy.

I got my pendant reading the story I just wrote but practically got booed off of stage ... (for taking too long) ... Hence the not so good mood, even theough I understand entirely the crowd's reaction. Just a little annoyed at myself for not realizing it before getting in line to go up. duh. fucknut. la la la.