quasi random (kaolinfire) wrote,
quasi random
kaolinfire

I haven't moved. Ate, napped, brushed my teeth -- wondrous experience. If I can come next year, I definitely want to have a camp. Though I'm noticing my social tendencies seem amplified. I'm fine with providing others with something to do or gawk at or whatnot but I'm not good at participating in a more directmanner: person to person. I just don't have anything to chat about (I was going to say *talk* about, but I'm sprewing these words. Go fig. Ooh -- I had an idea for a simple story: The Playa Golem. Created with the blood, sweat, tears, semen, urine, hair of burners... it hunts down those who brought it to life and ... helps them? harms them? just freaks them out? or was it simply born of the playa? if so, what then? I hate having ideas and not knowing what to do with them. I was just about to spew out a ocuple poems. I suppose I can, sort through gibberish looking for gems...

...

it's a loto harder to write on paper than digitally. easier to think on paper, but then I need the power to move bits around, try four or five different things, delete, undelete... you know, computer stuff.

i want to go naked but I've still got the one big worry I've always had -- what if I get an erection? I was considering getting a body wash at the poly camp but had to reconsider -- took a nap instead.

One thing I've realized is that while I'm by myself I'm more productive, can finish my own projects, yadda; I really need someone else to share life with to actually go out and do stuff with. A single friend -- the more people, the more difficult it is to share the experience or even to decide on the experience. Of course, there are exceptions to this -- concurrences of context -- people, time, place ...

I really miss Amy.

...

It's really hard to name haikus: typically, the last line (though sometimes the first) is the key to the mystery and the most succinct way of describing the poem (other than "short") ... but you don't want to give it away in the title, but what can you do???

these entries seem to be getting longer and longer. Also did one sketch I'm a little happy with. Of course, it's only pseudorealism. My word? It's hard to describe what I do. Typically, it's meant to be more real than abstract, but more stylized than real: still trying to osmose an understanding of proportion and perspective.

Maybe what I should do is the gridding -- get the hand used to drawing the appropriate lines, even if the brain doesn't understad it. training wheels should make the exercise less frustrating.

It's only tuesday. I'm missing all the activities due to this or that: indecision, heat of the day, and some obligation to stay with the livejournal camp to help with the schtick. iceblink and insomnia made a run into reno to pick up more stuff. They've been gone all day (since 9am at least). slafleur has been sticking with the camp most loyally and I kinda feel bad that he's not getting out more. Though he said that this is more of a getaway for him than a go out and do things sort of thing. Which I understand intellectually. Blah. It's that whole seeing in others the things you consider flaws in yourself. I feel like I ought to go out, see everything, do everything (and in the process of that, the personally more difficult bit, interact with everyone) ... the day is cooling off. we'll see if I get up to any monstrosities tonight. I've been writing pretty much nonstop since I started this entry -- little pauses, a minute tops, for reflections and hand cramps and stuff -- it's 6:40 now. Not sure if I'm running out of steam or not.

I've had talks about thisthatortheother but I'm most comfortable around [Bad username: sl;afleur], whose name I just had to reask. :whoops: He seems industrial, nice, able, and quiet. As well as interesting. La la la. I bet you were wondering when I'd hit a "La la la". :)

I erally miss Amy. She would be making this so much more complete. With her I would have the extra impetus to go out and do stuff. I should also have contemplated my camping situation a little better: thought I could just crash in the main tent but I didn't realize that it would already be claimed. Silly me.

I need to stop sayng I miss Amy. I'm trying to open my head for grand thoughts (or anything more interesting than "I just brushed my teeth" -- which I did before writing this entry. damn it was good. happy teeth. I so need to see a dentist when I get home :( ) and that fills the void most easily. I write it down to dispel it or use it as a stepping stone to more interesting thoughts, but I feel like I'm whining. I hope she had a good second day of school and such. It would be so much better if I could simply call her on the phone. Truly? Maybe not. That would just exacerbate the situation. la la la. By not having my own minicamp I have no privacy. That's an interesting experiment; I expect I'll come up with solutions for later. I think I'll need to, but things tend to fall into place at the last possible moment. The hard part is they fall apart so completely until then. Bleah. iceblink says she has a spare tent, though I don't want to impose. I expect that they'd rather have me impose by using their spare than by crashing in the big one. I wish I just had a less intrusive solution.

I really want to write a story. The golem idea seems to be less gelled in my head than I had thought. Are there any other takers? It would be SO nice to have access to my novel outlines, but oh well. I actually heartell of an internet connection somewhere. but. I don't know. La la la. :)

I'll cut this off now and brainstorm. :) Seven oclock now. Sun's still up, but barely.
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