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tone-deaf or color-blind?


tone-deaf or color-blind?

The world is made up of sounds
that express concepts
that we pass, one to another;
and fears, deeper-rooted
than thought. And we think
with these concepts, these sounds,
to ourselves and out loud; and
we fear with them as well.

The world is made up of people
that express sounds, shared
vocabularies--disparate meanings;
one note across the world
rings a thousand different tales
against a thousand different contexts,
is hidden in a thousand different scores.

The world is made up of pains
expressed as sounds, and joys
expressed the same; I can hear
what you are thinking
but my ear may be to blame
for the thoughts that I receive
from your sounds.




I've been poeming a lot since ... last Friday, I think. I hit on a new voice in a few of them, and I'm trying to figure that out--but in the meantime, thoughts seem to be wanting to express themselves in this form. This is a thought, not something that's looking for publication, so it's not hidden for future re-working.

In fact, as I'm listening to some beautiful YouTube mash-ups by a person named (or calling himself) Kutiman, I'd love to create some sort of dialog out of it.

So: I hereby release the poem and its accompanying audio into the public domain; if you see some promise in either, do with them as thou wilt.

And I'd love to know what you think. :) I'm particularly unhappy with s3--I don't think it says what it needs to, but my thoughts started to falter (and my rhythm, though a part of me hopes that works ;) ). And perhaps I don't explore the metaphor (if it's really a metaphor) enough in the first two stanzas... and the fear is important, but I just touch on it (that was supposed to be the core as much as the "sounds", but it didn't go that way).

Comments

( 5 comments — Leave a comment )
girlspell
Mar. 12th, 2009 03:12 am (UTC)
First of all, I did love the poem (3rd stanza and all) I also loved that video. Your rhythm might have been a bit off in the 3rd, but I really dig that line "but my ear may be to blame" :) Did the poem come first or the video?
kaolinfire
Mar. 12th, 2009 03:17 am (UTC)
The videos are sort of the context of my day--I got a link to them shortly after I woke up and have been listening to them on and off fairly constantly (as off as that sounds); really inspiring.

The poem came more directly from RaceFail, this WisCon GoH speech (PDF), and some friends' further responses to the speech.

Thanks :)
southernweirdo
Mar. 12th, 2009 10:40 pm (UTC)
I like this one a lot.

My recommendation would be to take off the 3rd stanza, however. I think it is not needed, and liked having "...in a thousand different scores" as the final image/thought. I thought that was a very powerful image.

Perhaps take the third stanza and write a new poem with it as the 1st stanza? Poems reproduce like amoebas.
kaolinfire
Mar. 13th, 2009 10:39 pm (UTC)
Thanks :) Stuff to play with.

I'd love to see what you would do with it :)
autumnsea
Mar. 29th, 2009 11:42 am (UTC)
I think the third stanza is necessary - I personally wouldn't take it off.

I enjoyed reading it and hearing you recite it.
( 5 comments — Leave a comment )

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